Saturday, 13 February 2016

Push or leave?

If I told you to jump, would you?
A question we ask to see how loyal ones are
A question that shows how insecure we are

I guess it's something we crave?
Someone who will stand by you and bring flowers to your grave:
At death's door, they will cry at the sound of your name
At your funeral, they'll tell stories about how and why they loved you and about all the times you misbehaved.

Life isn't as pretty as the dead roses left on the soil above your stone cold and alone corpse,
I'm not here to define life.

I just want to understand it and make it more nice,
for me, you and the children who'll run around with their kites
Or their smartphones?
I can't keep up with the evolutionary of our self destructive society
Thinking about it just gives me anxiety
Like the voices and the noises you hear at night
Or even the ones that stalk you in the light

Maybe that's my old friend depression creeping up on me
despite all my voicemails I sent him asking
For him to just leave.
Just because you ask, they won't deliver to your wants
more to their own needs
For their own ego's to feed
Wherever your life may lead:

Depression is like a nasty ex who won't leave,
he may get violent
he may get verbal and scar you with words that are permanent
reminders to why you're imperfect
to why you're not pretty
to why you're just his servant
to why you believe rumours and lies
to why he'll dance around the fire with you until you trip,
and die.

He maybe a cruel being but not as cruel as the man who controls you
or in other words

You are reckless.
You are defiant.
It's what they all say, don't they?

The question you shouldn't be asking is if they'd risk it all
It's not a ball game anymore
It's life. You either push or they leave,
I push.
They leave.
So if I asked the empty spaces on the seats beside me of where my loved ones should be...

If I told you to jump, Would you?

I don't think I'd get an answer but If I did,
It would be a 'yes' because they willingly left when I pushed
It would be 'no' because they didn't bother to be around
when I jumped.